Alternate Title: “Fully Bespeckled” is fun to say.
Once upon a time there was an egg named Oscar. He woke up one morning, opened his door, looked up at the beautiful sun and said, “Ahhh, what a glorious day for a walk”.
So Oscar set out for a walk. He walked down the street, turned at the corner, and walked right up to the market. He walked in and strolled past all of the vegetables and saw his friend, Dog. You see, Dog is a dog (clearly), and Dog is Oscar’s friend.
Dog said, “Hello Oscar, What are you doing today?”
Oscar replied to Dog the dog, “I was going out for a walk, but it turned into a trip to the market. I think I might do some shopping.” After a pause, Oscar asked, “and what are you doing today?”
Dog said, “I’m just here to smell the steaks”.
Of course, smelling steaks didn’t sound like much fun to Oscar, being an egg and all, but he thought it would be perfectly reasonable for Dog to smell steaks that are in the market, because Dog is a dog.
So Oscar said goodbye to his friend and continued his shopping, and Dog returned to steak smelling.
Oscar was walking down the next aisle in the market when something suddenly caught his attention. Right there in front of him was a collection of kits that children used to color eggs at Easter time. One kit showed some eggs that were odd colors like red, purple, green, and orange. Oscar couldn’t remember ever seeing such colorful eggs. Another kit showed eggs that were stripped with different colors on the top, bottom and middle. But the third package showed eggs that were fully bespeckled. There were dots and specks of all different sizes all over the eggs.
You see, Oscar was slightly bespeckled, but he had always thought it would be fun to be fully bespeckled eggs. He imagined himself, being fully bespeckled, walking down the street in all of his fully bespeckledness. People (in his imagination) all commented, “what a lovely egg, not slightly but fully bespeckled.”
Oscar was so impressed with the idea of himself being fully bespeckled that he picked up the kit, purchased it at the counter, and rushed home straight away.
He immediately used the kit to do all kinds of bespeckleding to himself until he was, in fact, fully bespeckled. Oscar looked at himself in the mirror and being quite pleased walked out the door for another walk.
Sadly, people didn’t really react any differently to Oscar now that he was fully bespeckled. They just went on about their various errands without giving him much extra thought.
While Oscar was on his walk, he ran into his friend, Dog. [Now you may recall me saying earlier that Dog is a dog, so I won’t repeat it now. Oh no, I just did. Please forget that I said that.] … [Unless, of course, you did not recall me saying earlier that Dog is a dog and did not immediately reach that conclusion yourself. In that case, please remember it.]
Dog took one look at Oscar and said, “Why Oscar, you look quite bespecked today”.
Oscar, perking up, said, “Do you think I look fully bespeckled or only slightly bespeckled?”
Dog (a dog) replied, “Clearly, you are fully bespeckled.”
Oscar asked, “but do you think I look much more impressive being fully bespeckled and no longer slightly bespeckled?”
Dog replied, “You are my friend, and I love you dearly, so I’ll be honest. I kind of liked the slightly bespeckled Oscar better than the fully bespeckled Oscar. However, You are my friend no matter how bespeckled you are.”
Oscar, realizing his vanity was complete foolish, thanked Dog for setting him straight. He went home, washed off the egg dye, and went to bed. He realized that he was just the right kind of egg without any flashy dyes or some such nonsense, and he was happy to be himself again.
Even though he was slightly bespeckled.
The End